


The Brightest Star

by didyousaygay



Series: My Personal Solar System [18]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29540544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didyousaygay/pseuds/didyousaygay
Summary: The brightest star suffers the most scalding burn. A StellJun ongoing drama.
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/John Paulo Nase | Pablo
Series: My Personal Solar System [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774648
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	The Brightest Star

Stell stares at the stacks of big boxes littered all over their small condo unit with mixed feelings. He can still remember the day they moved in with one piece of luggage each in tow and as much as he wants to avoid drama and sentimentality, he can't help it. He switches on his camera's video and starts recording. He pans along the boxes arranged near the entryway. Josh will be moving out tonight, an hour from now, the eldest will be the first to leave and Josh coincidentally comes out from their room carrying another box.

**[Recording] 1:07 secs**

  
"Hoy Stell, ano yan ha?!" Josh places the box on top of a bigger one and stares directly at the camera. "Ano na namang klaseng content yang ginagawa mo?"

The lens re-adjusts and focuses on Josh. 

"Personal documentary. 50 years from now pag pinanood mo 'to, ma-aamaze ka na lang kasi nangyari pala lahat ng 'to sa buhay natin."

"Agree naman ako dyan." Josh stands straight and faces the camera. "Message ko sa future self ko.. hmm.. wala na siguro. Enjoy your retirement! You deserve it." Waves a saluting gesture with a smile and walks to his room, he pauses and turns around to look back at the camera. "Bawal mag-drama Stell ha, lilipat lang ng bahay, hindi tayo maghihiwa-hiwalay."

"Alam ko! Mag-empake ka na nga!" 

Screen pans to several boxes in the kitchen, all with a handwritten name on top - FELIP. The camera's angle shifts to handheld selfie and Stell appears, not smiling, his fringes tied up, apple hairstyle. 

**[Recording 2:23 secs]**

  
"Si Felip Jhon lilipat na bukas. Dahil sinimulan ni Josh mag-dedicate ng message sa future self, punta na rin tayo sa kwarto ni Ken para sa message nya sa sarili nya."

Camera pans back to first person POV, showing the living room. The video slowly reaches the door at the end of the hall and the movement stops. Stell's hand appear on screen and knocks. The door opens after a few seconds and Ken peeks out, his hoodie covering half of his face.

"Ano 'to Stell?"

Full panorama screen on Ken with an amused smile.

"Dahil may bagong chapter na sa buhay mo simula bukas, anong message mo sa future self mo? Yung mga... 75 year old self mo?"

"Uhhh.. Hi, it's your old boy Ken???"

"For personal viewing 'to Felip Jhon, hindi content ng channel natin, umayos ka!"

"Ang demanding naman! Ano ba sasabihin ko sa sarili ko? Wala! 75?? Buhay pa ba ko nun?!"

"Magpuyat ka gabi-gabi, sigurado hindi ka na aabot ng 75."

"Ah! Eh di eto na lang, future self ko, pag napanood mo 'to ibig sabihin, sinunod mo yung advise ni Stell."

Camera pans to Stell giving Ken an eye roll. "Minsan naman matino syang kausap. Minsan. Ewan ko sa'yo Ken."

  
Screen pans out again to the hallway and Ken's laugh echoes as the shot moves back to the living room, stopping at the empty couch.

**[Recording 8:12 secs]**

"Si Jah, wala. Nasa bahay nila. Sa susunod na lang yung sa kanya."

The screen moves away from the couch, still in POV mode, pans to another closed door. 

**[Recording 8:56 secs]**

**[Recording 10:55 secs]**

Camera pans down to the door handle, Stell's hand appears on screen, opening the door.

**[Recording 11:12 secs]**

A bunk bed appears, screen moves to the left and Sejun appears on frame, sealing a big box with packing tape. He looks at the camera with a frown and turns his attention back to the box.

"Hindi content 'to Pau."

Sejun looks again and shifts his gaze, staring at the person behind the camera and smiles. "Bakit ka malungkot?" 

"Hindi naman.."

Sejun walks towards the camera with a smile but his stare is still focused at the person behind. "Pause mo na yan Tey.."

" 'yoko."

"Anong gusto mo?"

"Mag message ka sa future self mo, 50 years from now."

" 'yoko, ngiti ka muna."

"Pablooo.. message na.."

"Ngiti ka muna."

"John Paulo! Message! Ay, ang kulit!"

"Sa sarili ko wala, para kay Stellvester Ajero may message ako." 

Sejun starts to sing.

> Until the day the ocean  
>  Doesn't touch the sand  
>  Now and Forever  
>  I will be your man

  
"Mabigat na declaration yan. Nase, sigurado ka ba dyan?"

The camera shakes. Sejun smiles.

"Off mo na yan Tey, 'lika dito.."

"Magic word muna."

"I love you Tey."

"I love you Pau."

**[Recording 13:25 secs]**

  
Screen goes black.

*

  
"Umamin ka sa 'kin Felip Jhon, sino sa management ang nagtanong kay Pau ng tungkol sa amin?" Stell pulls an unknowing Ken at the corner of the dance studio.

"Wala nga akong alam! Bakit di mo sya tanungin?"

Stell wants to force the information out from Ken before Sejun finishes his discussion with their manager about something while Josh and Justin are busy reviewing the video from the vlog content that they just finished shooting. He looks around to check if anyone heard them. 

"Nakita mo di ba, grabe yung iwas nya sa 'kin kanina. Halos mawala na nga sya sa frame, wag lang kaming magtabi sa screen."

"Baka naman may kasalanan ka, mag-sorry ka na."

"Umamin ka na kasi kung may alam ka, pinapahirapan mo pa ko eh."

"Hindi ko nga alam. Pero sige nga, kung meron ngang nagtanong kay Sejun from management tungkol sa inyo, may magagawa ka ba?"

Stell knows Ken has a point and his insistent questioning will only cause unease between the group and the staff but he can't help but worry. It is unsettling to see Sejun restless and conflicted about his actions in front of the camera because he has always been a genuine person. Stell knows Sejun is sparing him from the stress of the bad news but they've known each other for too long, he can see through the pretentions.

"Sobrang honest ni Pau, sigurado hirap na hirap yun magsinungaling. Ano bang pwede kong gawin Ken?"

Before Ken can reply, Sejun walks to them and Stell can already see the beginning stages of his boyfriend's grumpiness. 

"Pau.." Stell reaches out to hold Sejun's hand but Sejun steps back. That hurts. Stell's heart unhelpfully whispers to him.

"May guesting ka pa ng 3pm with Trixie di ba? Kaya nga tayo nag-shoot ng maaga. Lakad na. Baka ma-late ka, ang layo pa naman ng venue."

"Di ba sabi mo sasamahan mo ko?"

"Hindi na Stell."

Stell. There's no one else around them to hear but Ken. And boy, that hurts. "Last promotion na namin 'to. Minsan lang mapili yung kanta ko sa OST ng movie, hanggang sa pinakahuli, hindi mo man lang ba talaga ko sasamahan?"

"Marami ka pang next time kasi talented ka, you deserve it."

"Ayaw mo ba talaga 'kong suportahan Pau?" Stell can already see Ken's worried expression but he doesn't stop. "Mas importante ba yung pag-iwas mo sa media? Mas importante ba sa'yo yun?!" Josh and Justin are already looking at them with concern.

"Stell.. pag-aawayan na naman ba natin 'to?"

"Ewan ko, siguro! Ano bang gusto mo?" Stell tries to tell himself to stop but he can't. His emotions are starting to get in his way.

Ken clears his throat. "Alis na muna ko ha, pag-usapan nyo yan."

"Dito ka lang Ken." Sejun speaks authoritatively.

"So ano 'to Pau, bawal tayong mag-usap at magtabi in public? Gusto mong magtago, pero di ba parang mas obvious yang ginagawa mo?"

"Guesting lang Tey, napunta na yung usapan natin sa ganito?"

"Lang?!?!" 

"Huy, kayong dalawa, ano ba!" Josh intervenes.

"Sige Pau, aalis na ko. Mukhang malinaw naman kung ano yung priorities mo eh."

That hurts. So much. Stell hates himself for it. 

*

  
The enclosed radio booth is brightly lit with white fluorescent bulbs but it's still making Stell feel claustrophobic. They still have to sing the promotional track after the interview but all he wants to do is leave and apologize to Sejun. But he needs to be professional, he scolds himself with disdain. He turns to their manager Miss April, sitting at the corner of the booth with concerned eyes. 

_And now, let's give Trixie and Stell a round of applause._

The radio host's voice reminds him of his urgent priorities. Trixie is also looking at him with concern but he plasters a fake smile as the instrumental plays in the background.

Stell lets his eyes roam outside the booth to clear his thoughts. And that's when he sees him. Because it's always been this way with them. One knows when the other is looking. He's standing in the corner of the dimmed audience booth, hands across his chest, with a black baseball cap to hide his face. He can wear anything over his head, a brown paper bag, a sack of rice or whatever ridiculous item he wants but Stell will always recognize him among the crowd. He may not be the sun nor the moon, he need not to be the brightest star and he doesn't have to be because John Paulo will always be the center of Stellvester's solar system and they will always gravitate towards each other. 

Sejun stares at him intently, his eyes looking through the depths of Stell's soul. 

Stell always sings every love song with dedication and deep emotion but he knows that in every love song that he sings, John Paulo is with him in every beat, every melody and Stell will always sing for him wholeheartedly.

Their duet ends until the host is thanking and applauding them but Stell has no idea how he went through the whole thing in a trance. Sejun breaks their eye contact, turns his back and leaves. And Stell crash lands back to planet earth. He rushes out of the booth to catch up with Sejun, their manager's voice calling him is nothing but static noise.

Stell doesn't see the people blocking his way because his only concern is to reach out to Sejun. To pat his head and embrace him, tell him that everything's okay. That he's sorry and he doesn't need to keep his head down like a rejected puppy because Stell is extremely happy to see him. But Stell's tunnel vision failed to see that Sejun came with someone, he did not notice the man walking beside his boyfriend not until the universe hits him in the face with a giant asteroid. Andrew reaches out and pats Sejun's head and Stell's jealousy explodes and shakes the tectonic plates of his very own planet earth.

Sejun doesn't even move away from Andrew's unneeded affection and Stell is just a short distance away from them before all hell breaks loose when April pulls Stell by the arm, finally catching up to him while catching her breath. 

"Stell! Saan ka pupunta? Hindi ka man lang nagpaalam kay Trix?!"

Stell halts with frustration and he looks at Sejun and Andrew as they slowly disappear from sight. He turns back to their manager and he knows that if he says something, he will just end up crying.

"Stell, okay ka lang ba? Anong nangyari?"

"Miss April, sorry po."

Stell apologizes because he's crying.

*

"Umuwi ka na Stell. Madaling araw na."

"Bakit pinapalayas mo ko sa bahay mo eh kailangang kailangan ko ng kausap ngayon." Stell lies on Ken's living room couch, staring into nothingness while venting his frustrations like a patient confiding to his psychiatrist.

"Hindi naman ako yung kailangan mong kausapin. Ayusin nyo yan, ano ka ba."

"Bakit ba nangyari 'to ngayon kung kelan na kaming dalawa na lang ni Pau ang natira sa bahay."

"Hindi ba mas okay nga yun kasi makakapag-usap kayo ng maayos."

"Nakakatakot Ken."

"Ang alin?"

"Yung mga bagay na nararamdaman mo pag sobrang mahal mo yung isang tao. Parang hindi ko na kilala yung sarili ko." He doesn't want to cry anymore. Though crying makes him feel better, it doesn't solve anything and there's nothing else that he wants at the moment but to reconcile with Sejun but his intense feelings for him scares him.

"May naalala akong sinabi ni Sejun dati, hindi ako sigurado kung sa interview ba o sa simpleng kwentuhan lang. Sabi nya, pag hindi ka na natatakot gawin ang isang bagay, ibig sabihin, hindi na 'to importante sa'yo. Dati akala ko applicable lang yun sa stage performances. Hindi pala. Ano sa tingin mo?"

Stell doesn't say anything, he just opened his messaging app once again and stares at Sejun's message sent two hours ago. 

Today  
12:01am  
Pau ni Tey: Hindi ko nasabi kahapon na mahal na mahal kita. I'm sorry. Uwi ka na, Tey ko..

*

  
Sejun lies on the living room couch while staring thoughtlessly at the ceiling. The silence throughout the house feels suffocating. The last human interaction he had was three hours ago when he replied a simple Thank You to Ken when the latter messaged him not to worry because Stell is with him.

Monday   
3:12am

Sejun sends a text message.

Tey, bagong araw na. Mahal na mahal kita.

The latch to the main door clicks and Sejun doesn't have to look to know who it is. He sits up and sees Stell standing in their door way. Their relationship is not for the faint of heart, not as simple as breathing but Sejun knows the hardships are worth it. His love for Stell is not just feelings. His love has a life and it breathes on its own and Sejun will choose to be with Stell in every difficult road that awaits them. 

Sejun smiles. 

"Bakit gising ka pa?" Stell asks. He sits beside Sejun and lays his head on Sejun's shoulder with a deep sigh.

"Ang luwag kasi nung bed, wala yung katabi kong makulit."

"Nahihirapan ka na ba Paulo?"

"Mahirap. Sobrang hirap."

"At sobrang mahal na mahal kita Pau."

"I know."

"Pau.."

"Tey.."

Stell starts to hum the melody, until he hears Sejun chuckle. 

"Nakakatawa ba John Paulo?!"

"Mabigat na declaration yan Ajero, sigurado ka ba?"

"Sigurado."

Stell continues the tune but this time, the heartfelt lyrics are included. His voice is tired but he knows Sejun loves him no matter what.

> Whenever I'm weary  
>  From the battles that raged in my head  
>  You made sense of madness  
>  When my sanity hangs by a thread  
>  I lose my way but still you  
>  seem to understand
> 
> Now and Forever..
> 
> I will be your man.

Sejun harmonizes with Stell on the last part.

And it was beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> PABLO ended Sejun like a boss but Sejun will always have a special place in our hearts yeah? You'll forgive me if I stick with Sejun until the conclusion. I know you will.


End file.
